George Carlin was an American Comedian widely known for sharing his political opinions. I could think of no better way to introduce my newest blog category, Anomalous Insights, by remembering a man who made so many us laugh and helped us see the world through his eyes.

The following are a few quotes from Carlin’s “news” portions of his stand up acts. His unique creativity and randomness is expressed so well through these “anomalous” news jokes.


A small town in Tennessee downwind from a nuclear plant believes it may
have received some radiation leakage. Everyone is dead, and the trees
are humming.

A man in Texas was arrested today for shooting and killing:
his wife, son, two daughters, his mother and father, all four of his
grandparents, his dog, his mailman, three neighbors, and a woman who
works at the filling station. He claims he was just cleaning his gun
when it suddenly went off.

Here are the results of the blind person’s golf tournament–they’ve
just come in: the winner was Johnny Downing with 1,829 strokes, just
enough to beat Larry Powell who lost any chance he might have had when
he took a 312 on the final hole.


An elderly couple, celebrating their 90th wedding anniversary, died of
fright today at the beginning of a surprise party.

A 66-year-old woman who was attempting to trot backwards from Winnipeg
to Rio was killed today when she was hit by a truck, head-on, from the

A man who was attempting to walk around the world…drowned today.


George Carlin (1937 – 2008)