In the recent past I have not been a fan of “the holidays”, primarily meaning Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years. As icing on the shit cake, these holidays typically take place during cold weather, which only made them more miserable. I’ve never been a fan of winter. I despise it with every ounce of my existence. If winter were a small and adorable child, I would still push it down a large hill and laugh until I cried.
Despite my hatred of this time of year over the past few years, this year is different. And it all started with the Christmas tree I bought for my living room. Just like the Grinch, I feel like my heart grew three sizes after getting my tree setup. I’m aware of how that sounds, but let me back up a little and explain the situation.
You see, after a bad relationship back in 2011/2012 I swore I was done with any more relationships. I even turned down a couple of opportunities I had for a relationship over the years. When 2017 rolled around though, I decided to check out Tender and see what it was all about. To make a long story short, the very first girl I went on a date with is now my fiancee a year and a half later. Her and her son have changed my life in more ways than one.
Ok, so you’re asking yourself why that makes that big of a difference, right? Well, in order for me to cope with the devastation of my break up in 2012, I (for lack of a better explanation) turned off my emotions. I went through the death of my grandparents without shedding a tear. I never stopped to help someone in need, even if they were very much in need and went out of their way to ask me for help. This includes not even helping a short elderly person get something off the top shelf in a grocery store. Yeah…I was a major ass and did not care in the slightest. My emotions were buried and I saw the world as a dark place that only wanted to hurt me, so why shouldn’t I hurt it back a little!
But two or three weeks into this new relationship I could feel things I hadn’t felt in a very long time. I had met the most selfless girl who was falling in love with me of all people. And in doing so, my own human emotions were coming back. Now, with that being said, last Christmas was fun since it was our first, but I still hated the holidays themselves. And I have even made it clear that I don’t like any of it, even though my fiancee LOVES it all. But this year, after fighting her on getting a tree for our new/first house, I finally gave in to make her happy. The results of doing so transformed me practically over night.
I currently live in the house by myself (since she lives an hour away) and we weren’t sure when she would move in. We were most likely waiting until summer of 2019 that way her son didn’t have to change schools mid year. But after we put our Christmas tree up in the living room and plugged in the lights, it somehow made our new house feel more like a home than any of the renovations we had done to it. Thousands of dollars for new floors, vanities, furniture, paint, lights, etc…and the thing that made our house feel like a home was a stupid tree. It sounds so crazy but it’s so true. Once it was lit up everything felt perfect. Just like that! BOOM! And now I have a better attitude about the holidays and I am very much looking forward to Christmas day.
But that’s not the only good news. They are now moving in with me here in a couple of short weeks over her son’s school break. This will allow him to make some friends in this city before summer comes. I couldn’t be happier. I have even been listening to Christmas playlists on Spotify because of how happy I am! Yeah…
Sometimes the smallest of things can make the biggest impact. I never thought that putting up a tree that I didn’t even want in the first place would help me better appreciate the holidays. I never thought it would make our house feel more like a home. And I never thought it would bring my fiancee and I even closer together. But the reality is that it did all of that and more, and I couldn’t be more happy about it. I have already thought about having to take it down after the holidays and I find that to be a sad thing to think about. So for now I will just enjoy it and when the time does come to take it down, we will all be living together anyway, and that…above all else…will make this house a home. And you can bet your sweet ass that when Christmas 2019 comes around I’m gonna be so full of the Christmas spirit that I might just fart a candy cane.
Thanks for reading and happy holidays!