A year ago I felt like I was in the perfect relationship. Things were great and I was two months into an engagement. It was only a couple of months ago though, that I felt like my relationship was coming to an end. After about three months of difficult conversations and arguments, our love was being put to the test like I never could have imagined. Only a week and a half after moving in, my finacee moved right back out and I took the engagement ring back from her…not because we were ending anything just yet, but because it felt like we were headed down that road.
As of today, she is wearing the ring again, and we are finally in a better place. We have been doing so much better for the last month and a half. The near death of our relationship opened my eyes to the fact that I just couldn’t let this girl go. And it seems to have opened up her eyes as well. All the problems we had were so small, but they seemed to add up so quickly. Now they seem so far in the past and we are progressing not around them, but through them. And the beauty of it is that we don’t really talk about them anymore. We have both automatically put forward the effort to correct them so that we can focus on being happy together. Life is too short to disagree/argue with someone you love, especially over small stuff.
I realized yesterday just how grateful I am to be with her. I’ve always been grateful, but it just hit me differently yesterday. Before she left to go back to her house, she had helped her son pick up his room and bathroom, and she did all of our laundry even though I normally do it. And she left me a little note on my pillow for when I got home from work. Even better, she has been working with her son to help him eat over his plate better so that crumbs don’t go everywhere, and she will even vacuum under the dining room table if there are crumbs. These are things I was once getting on to her about and we were arguing about, but now she does these things on her own and isn’t upset about it. She helps me keep a clean house and she shows me she loves me. I am so thankful, grateful, appreciative, and so on and so on. She is amazing.
I on the other hand was too hard on her about keeping a clean house. I have always been OCD about things being clean, neat, and orderly. And I drove her crazy with the smallest things like the dining room chairs having to be spaced out perfectly from the table and each other. I would constantly follow behind her and her son cleaning up after them and then being upset about it. It was when I finally backed off that she took the initiative and started doing things on her own. I’ve stopped pushing her in negative ways. The last thing I want to do is push away the woman I love. I still keep a very clean house, but I have accepted that no house is perfect, and that I would rather be happy with her and her son than live in a perfect house.
Cleanliness of our house was only one of our issues, but it was a big one for sure. Our other issues (for the most part) have found a way of working themselves out in a similar manner as well. We aren’t ignoring any issues, but we are facing them as a team, whereas before we were so pitted against each other. I see things this way, you see them that way, and we are never going to agree. The day finally came that we realized that we have to at least try to see things from each others perspective. We don’t have to completely agree all of the time, but we can at least be more understanding of each other and work together.
This sense of team work that we now have is carrying us to new heights in our relationship. We are a year and two months into an engagement and we are likely not going to get married until next year, but that’s ok. There is no reason to be in a hurry anyway. As long as we are together that’s all that matters. We both love each other and want to be happy together for the rest of our lives. We know there are challenges ahead, but as long as we remain a team, one unit, then we can conquer anything life throws at us.
Life was never the issue anyway…we became our own worst enemies to our relationship. So if we can defeat that, I know we can defeat anything else if we are standing together.